just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
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