Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
