I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
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Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
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wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
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