She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Randomize
