i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
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