Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Randomize
