he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
