I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Randomize
