Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I think my vagina is haunted
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
