So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
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Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
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