Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
