So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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