Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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