Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Randomize