come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
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