actually, I'm a sock model
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
