You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
