Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
