Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
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