Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
