I'm pants shitting drunk right now
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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