yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
