don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
