she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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