We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
