if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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