i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I need a burrito and a hug.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
