Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
