He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
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