This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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