Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
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I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
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If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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