I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
