After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
Randomize
