dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
