while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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