If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
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