Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Drunk is not a location!
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
