i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
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last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
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I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text