I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I just found puke in my bra..
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.