wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
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