i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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