so explain again why im purple
no
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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