Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Send help, water and tortillas.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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