that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
