were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I am spending my child support on dildos
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
