I want to have your abortion
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Randomize
