Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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