Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
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