the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
