he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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