He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
How external is "for external use only"?
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
