went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Your penis caused this!
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
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