I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
