he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Randomize
