i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
