i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
