So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
