O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
my shit smells like andre
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
