Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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