Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize