If i could tip my vagina, i would.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Randomize
