take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
