I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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