it hurts more in the daytime
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
