Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
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I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
This is the high leading the old right now
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
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i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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